i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
i need to put some appletini on your dick
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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