the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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