Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
