Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Drake has all the answers
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
