Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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