I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
