everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
