I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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