You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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