He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
