I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
