No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
