How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
