You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
