"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
