I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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