Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dignity is for republicans.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
