Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize