i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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