I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
