the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
