Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
