just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
