My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
