Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize