I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
