i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
