so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
