Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
