Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize