You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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