If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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