If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
