did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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