I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
