I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
