OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
