i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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