Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
