Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
