Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize