You just made me feel so damn special
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
