Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
