At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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