im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
