Quick, to the slutcave!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
