Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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