:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
