There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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