masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize