2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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