Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
im about as happy as oj after his trial
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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