I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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