Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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