Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
