I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
